Sunday, March 30, 2008

Let's vote on Liberal MPPs appearance

As noted somewhere below, John Stewart of MississaugaNews.com has reported on his Random Access blog that Mississauga Animal Services votes on whether or not to kill a dog based on its appearance. Even the janitor gets a vote. Wag The Dog correctly identifies this as a perverse beauty contest, with death as the winner's prize.

So, I decided to start my own vote on whether Liberal MPPs should be voted out of office based solely on appearance. This is my perverse beauty contest; feel free to join in.

First to go would be Dalton McGuinty, the chinless wonder who reminds me of a turtle with a receding hairline. That's an unacceptable physicality to me. I've never trusted people whose faces recede into their necks. No real reason, it's based solely on appearance.

Next would be Mikey Bryant. Short men are never to be trusted; they are "ticking time bombs". It's that Napoleon complex in their genes, y'know, makes them mean.

Now, let's talk behaviour.

There are several slavering sycophants who go in a group. Following instinctive pack behaviour has killed dogs, indulging in learned pack behaviour should be sufficient reason to boot the sycophants. I pick Delaney and Zimmer as the first to go, as they have shown the most learned pack behaviour.

Then the chemical blondes, chemical brunettes and chemical redheads. Laurel Broten comes to mind, the woman who owns a "substantially similar" dog but voted in lockstep to kill them. Never trust a woman who has poured heavy metals onto her skull for years, it has to affect her brain.

Your turn.

6 comments:

Caveat said...

Well, if I have to compare Fiberals to dogs, even though it isn't really fair to our Only Friend, here's my fanciful guess at which breeds/types some Fibs would be.


I think McGuinty is a black-faced cur, are they banned yet?

Bryant could be a Puggle or a Bull-Shih-Tzu and you know how I feel about overpriced dogs with no pedigree bought by suckers who buy into the hype. I'm a fan of mutts but I like the unassuming, home-grown types.

Smitherman reminds me of the yappy Chihuahua that used to live next door to me - the one who thought he was a terrier until push came to shove. He's got to go or get some training and socialization stat.

Duncan could be one of those badly bred Labs whose owners feed them treats all day to reward them for underperforming and ignoring their wishes. Dogs like that are often seen dragging their long-suffering masters down the street at the end of a leash, barking wildly and peeing on people's legs when they get the chance.

Broten, well, can you say Shar-Pei? Originally bred to fight in China but so far removed from its former glory (and appearance) that it's really nothing but a high maintenance lapdog these days - and the Fibs love lapdogs, high maintenance or not.

Pupatello could be a spaniel type. Quick to bark, quick to bite but not really able to perform well in the field anymore.

Dave Levac must be a herding dog. He cetainly herded the Fiberal sheep in the last parliament - even had to get out the whip from time to time to keep them in line.

Ramal is like the most submissive dog you've ever had - the one always turning himself inside out to get approval and attention. He'll sit up and beg, speak when spoken to, fawn and ingratiate himself with the perceived alpha dog. I guess he could be a Beagle - he sings a nice song but always knows where he stands in the hierarchy and doesn't push his luck.

Zimmer could be a MinPin. He's nice to look, clever and very smooth. He's obedient to his master but he's a one-man dog who will snap and bite when he thinks nobody's watching. He fancies himself as a leader and tries it on from time to time but when the big dog shows up, he's all about making himself look small and harmless. Very trainable and quick to learn tricks.

Caplan has to be a bulldog of some sort. He's all about looking fierce and acting tough, but inside is a soft centre that melts when you turn up the heat.

How am I doing?

Mac`s Gang said...

I`m not going to judge them on appearance.
I`m going to judge ALL of them on smell.
I detect the stench of profiling.

We`re ALL dog fighters?
We`re ALL drug dealers?
We ALL own aggressive dangerous dogs?
We`re ALL guilty??

Air Freshener anyone?

The Verdict on the Ontario Fiberals.
They`re ALL dumba$$e$ who stink!!

Social Mange said...

Too funny, Caveat! I agree, comparing Fibs to dogs is a real insult to dogs.

Someone somewhere pointed out to me how much a certain provincial premier resembles the psycho in Psycho *LOL*.

Mac, I agree. Profiling stinks, as does ignoring the advice of experts, and making responsible dog owners into second-class citizens.

DryCreek said...

They're all shitehounds in my books!

I know it's not the provincial Fibs, but I am extremely offended by the Fed Fibs comparing one of their own to a "Pit Bull"!

http://www.canada.com/topics/news/story.html?id=e12195c6-e215-4107-ab47-e17b00baedb0&k=79318

An extreme insult to the breed...

Fayclis said...

Oh the Wit of it all. I am SO enjoying these rants. If this were me I wouldn't even compare them to dogs.

How about DONKEYS? They HAVE proved, at least to myself, to be real a$$e$.

Makes me want to go out and dig some "holes" for them in which to disappear.

bullish about BSL said...

Oh! too funny ROFL. What great comments! (runs off to link to as many pages at time will allow). With the injustice most dog owners are experiencing today, a giggle in the mist of these dark days in Ontario is certainly refreshing.